So, I have a really nice tan! I think that is the goal of summer, right? I have also been doing Zumba for about an hour daily. I LOVE IT. We have an xbox 360 and I do it on the kinect. The scale says I have gained 20 lbs in 4 weeks. I have a feeling it is wrong. My mom says, "maybe it is all muscle!" Ha. Like my post said before, I have been given the blessed opportunity to read! Carson takes 3 hour naps (like right now)and I get to read. Be it in the house, at the pool, or in the backyard. It is fantastic. Pure bliss! Here are the books I have read:
*Water for Elephants
*The Help
*Along For The Ride (Sarah Dessen- great author of mindless summer reads)
*The Hunger Games
*Specials
*Extras
*Sizzling Seventeen
*Three Little Words
*The Art Of Racing in the Rain
*Something Borrowed
*Something Blue (LOVED these books)
There were a few more but I can't think right now. I have gotten my sisters and mom to read some of them. I am passing along the love of reading ;)
Summer has been good so far; based on the above. Time with family, relaxing, great weather.
We were slated to visit my aunt in Bear Valley Springs, Ca this weekend. This is where I am blogging from since we have not had internet access. Originally, the plan was to head out here while they went to LA for a few days. My cousin is in to anime and was going to the Anime LA expo. We were going to look after their house and doggies while spending time with my Grandma and her husband Wen, who also live here in the summer. It is such a gorgeous place!
The day before we were supposed to come, we learned that Wen was being taken to a hospital in Bakersfield. He and my grandma had just left Lompoc to come out here, and he began to cough up copious amounts of blood while at Costco. She took him to the doctor, who sent them to urgent care, who sent them to the hospital where he was admitted. While there, he told the doctor that he had fallen in the garage and hit his head in Lompoc. (News to us- we were there- he told my grandma but we didn't hear. He felt just fine, got up, visibly uninjured.) The nurse noticed his eyes weren't quite responding, which I learned is indicative of a brain injury. They sent him in for testing, and would have the results the next day. My grandma checked in to a hotel, and we were all on standby.
The next morning, it was revealed that he had blood on the right side of his brain, which was adding dangerous pressure. Surgery was imminent, and there was a clot as well that needed to be removed. I spoke to my grandma and we came as soon as we could gather what we needed. My aunt Pam cancelled her trip, but sent my uncle and two cousins. We wanted to be here in support of her, she is so important to our family. My mom wanted to come, but needed to work out how with work. For the time being, Devin, Carson and I would take the 3 hour trip and then whoever else could come later on, would.
We got to the hospital as he was finished with surgery. He had done very well. We did not see him, but went to dinner with his son Dale, and his wife Marian. We came home and waited. We new he was in a medically induced coma, and would need to be until more healing took place.
The next morning it was revealed that there would be a conference with the Doctor at 5 p.m with my Grandma and his son, Dale and Marian. We stayed in Bear Valley, took the baby to the pool, and waited for Grandma to call so we could have dinner together. Around 6:30, I had yet to hear from her. I decided to call to see what time she would be here. When she answered the phone she was crying. My grandma doesn't cry. She is the strongest, most steadfast rock of a woman I have ever met. I admire her strength, so I new something was wrong. My aunt stood next to me, alert, waiting to hear what the news was. My grandma uttered, "It's not good, hon. Not good." While choking back tears. She continued to say that they discovered sometime after the surgery he had a massive stroke, causing brain damage, and no chance of recovery. How could this be? I had a million questions. Just yesterday at dinner we discussed after care and rehabilitation and her plans to care for him. He was going to be fine. Now things had really changed. She went on to explain that on top of that, it was discovered that he was in the late stages of lung cancer. Insane! He had a pneumonia earlier in the month, undergone cat scans, chest scans, you name it. It was not detected. The doctor assured them that if he did not suffer the stroke, the lung cancer would have been a very difficult road and would have led to his passing as well.
Currently he is in a coma on life support. Wen's daughter and granddaughters are on the road from Oregon at the moment. My grandma does not have power of attorney, his son does, so we are waiting for the decision as to when he will be removed.
My grandma is SO strong, a woman of Christ. She stayed with us last night and is doing well. Her time with him was less than two years; their one year anniversary was May 31. They were able to celebrate that. They had a summer of fun planned. I know they both made each other extremely happy. He was 83. He was a sweet man who lived a very full life. He climbed Mt. Fuji! He has done it all, I swear. To say that Wen and I have been chummy is an understatement. I met him when I was first pregnant, and even as an adult. A supposedly mature adult, I was very jealous of their relationship. She was MY grandma. I NEEDED her. I WANTED her to be there for ME when I wanted. That is what I was used to. She was like a teenager, so in love right away. They got married when I could not travel. That made me upset. She was not there for Carson's birth. That broke my heart. I blamed Wen. I was selfish. I am selfish. This is all so personal, but it is my life at this moment. What I have learned in the last 48 hours is that life is to be cherished, enjoyed, and be led unselfishly. I love my grandma and want to be here for her however I can. I was able to see Wen last night, where I gave him a first kiss and second hug in the last two years. I told him I was sorry. I wish I had more time with him. More time to act like a grown woman and not a needy child.
My mom and Samantha arrived late last night. They are at the hospital with my Grandma and Pam right now. Devin and I are at the house with Carson. I wish, more than anything, that I knew how to handle stress. That I had a better way. I try, I promise I do. I clean. I write. I watch trash TV. I walk. But I still get a build up of why's and what if's.
I am happy to be here this summer to support my grandma. Her house will be less empty. I know Carson brings her a lot of joy. I am glad she can watch him grow. She loves him.
Please just keep us in your thoughts, whoever reads this. 2 husbands gone in 6 years is not fair.
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