Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Loving the tough kids


Man on man. This past school year has been the most difficult that I have ever had. I have a few kids who just stress me out. They are defiant. They are very low functioning, but they are down right NAUGHTY! Some kids have parents who make it worse. Some of the kids are "entitled" to do what they want. I have been given "solutions" such as, "Just ignore them when they don't want to work, they will come around eventually." Fine. I agree with ignoring behaviors to an extent. But when they are manipulating a situation on purpose, to avoid doing anything all day long, I am not okay with it. Ethically, it is a struggle. I don't think it is the purpose of school to stand in a corner all day long. I'd rather have a fight. Honestly. I'd rather have them hit and kick and throw things, de-escalate, and then join the activity. Most common sense and behavioral practices say to do what you can to avoid the behavior. Well, as you get to a certain point in life, and you have learned that if you use that certain behavior to get whatever you want, you come to a crossroads. Do I avoid this behavior? Or, do I teach independence. I go for independence. These kids need to learn how to function in society. In the classroom. Around others, even if it is in a sheltered workshop. I hope I can teach that. However, since other people have different opinions, and I am not fixing these problems as quickly as I would hope to (factor in other people providing negative attention, reinforcing the behavior, home life and puberty) I have ended up disliking some of my students. That isn't good.

So, I decided I have to change my attitude. Today I told one kid, who drives me crazzzzyyyyy that I loved him. He looked surprised! That made me sad. I hope throught the power of positive suggestion I can learn to love him, and make a difference in his life.

"Someone has written, “Love is a verb.” It requires doing—not just saying and thinking. The test is in what one does, how one acts, for love is conveyed in word and deed...Love is a positive active force. It helps the loved one. If there is need, love tries to supply it. If there is weakness, love supplants it with strength. … Love that does not help is a faked or transient love."- Elder David B. Haight.

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