Dear Baby Carson:

Dear Carson,
Tomorrow you turn one.You have blessed our life for one whole year!Last year at this time mommy was in the hospital waiting for your arrival! Time has gone so fast! You have grown in so many ways! You are so silly! You love to dance. Any time music starts to play, you flap your cute arms and rock back and forth. You love to giggle as well. Auntie Sammye cracks you up when she pretends she is a puppy. You love dogs and enjoy playing with anyones dogs. You love swimming, walks in the stroller, car rides, watching mommy zumba, three hour naps, playing catch with daddy,playing with remote controls (you like to see the channels change), play with car keys, shake pill bottles(they are childproof!) and you love the sound of your voice! You love to sing, yell, scream and talk! You say "mama", "dada", "daddy", "up", "bye" and some other random babbles that have sounded like words! Your grandma really wants you to say "grandma"- we shall see about that! She also wants you to watch Barney but we are trying to prevent that as well :)
The things you do bring smiles to our faces! Our current favorites are peek a boo (you cover your eyes and giggle!) and we especially love your hugs and wet kisses! Now that you are turning one, we probably need to put a stop to your toungue kissed! You lick our faces an bite our noses. We think it is silly, but we can't have that your first day of kindergarten!
We love you more than anything. We couldn't imagine a better life. You are everthing to us, and will always be! One day soon we hope to give you a sibling who we will love just as much! If we could give you any advice, it would be to never doubt yourself. Stay close to the gospel. Trust us, we want the best for you! And, you will never remember the pain you have right now from teething! You have two teeth on the bottom, with your top two right behind! You only got your first tooth a month ago! I guess you're a late bloomer! Anyways, we love you. In closing, here are the lines to your favorite song: Falling in love, is such an easy thing to do. Birds can do it, we can do it, let's stop talking let's get to it- let's fall in love!!
Love,
Mommy & Daddy xoxo


ps- I will add pics once I have a computer again!

Zumba

I love Zumba! Who doesn't!? Well, I have been doing every day this summer, except for two days when we were at my aunt's.Some dayys I do the 20 minute work outs, some days do the 20 plus some single routines, and when my sweet boy allows, - do a 45 minute routine! I always end with going n a walk.So far, I have lost ten lbs. I feel good about it, it is not too hard, and it is something I can do daily. I have been watching what I eat as well. I have a slim fast and a fruit for breakfast, a yogurt or the breakfast fruit for a snack, a lean cuisine for lunch, and a light dinner, or more salad and some of what everyone else is having. It isn't inconvienient, and it has been pretty rewarding! My goal is to shed 7 lbs a month, and try to keep that pace for the next year. I think it is realistic, and manageable! That's what keeps me motivated best, rather than saying, "I want to lose 75 lbs!" That is a little overwhelming. I will update my progress as a source of accountability. Any suggestioms are welcome! :)


Stats: June: -10 lbs
July: we shall see!

It's no fun not having a computer!

From my blackberry, here is my ipad plea:


I need one! I would be SO productive! and it would increase my self-esteem, because that is what productivity does! I could: (in no particular order)
- do lesson plans wherever am at!
-keep in touch with my family via skype, anytime!


- could keep up with my blog, therefore doing family history, enriching our lives, and our sons! :)
- could find new ways to be inspired!
-have scriptures handy!
- read books!
- and feel really cool.

You've just got to ignite....the light....

Baby you're a firework.

 

How is it possible, that one sweet little boy, who will be ONE YEAR OLD next Sunday, can have so much personality? He truly lights up up our world. (Cue corny music)

And then there is this guy, who I made pose in front of a rose bush, is the one who makes me see fireworks. Love this guy!

Today we are still in Bear Valley Springs. We are going to try and beat the heat- (100 degrees, no A/C!) maybe swim in the kiddie pool, have a good old-fashioned cookout with Aunt Pam, Uncle Pat, Grandma, My great Aunt Dorothy, Mom, Courtney, Bobby and us. It should be fun. Afterwards we will head down into Tehachapi to watch fireworks. Last year on the 4th, We sat in our front yard and watched Stadium of Fire fireworks while Carson kicked the crap out me. Hopefully he will like them this year! We hope everyone has a wonderful holiday, full of good ole' American stuff like hot dogs, fireworks, swimming and family! We know we will!

Summer Happenings

For Father's Day, I got together with these girls, and thought that it would be fun to surprise my dad and Devin with tickets to a Dodger game! We even went and bought everyone a t-shirt. It was quite the adventure getting the shirts, too. We went to some blackmarket latino shop and almost crapped our pants a few times due to the unsavory environment. Scary scary scary!AND, the shirts weren't even cheap! Well, we looked good! :)

 The game was on a Wednesday at 12:30 and it was HOT. I was previously burned the day before from adventures in the pool in the backyard at Grandma's. It wasn't too bad though. I toughed it out for the men. :) Another perk was that all of the food was 1/2 off that day, it was a throwback day. Saweet! Normally Dodger dogs are $5.75. CRAZY!

 Initially we wanted to take my Grandpa as well, but he didn't think that he could handle the drive and the heat. I understood, but was bummed. We decided instead that the next day we would take him and Nancy to Splash Cafe in Pismo Beach for Clam Chowder. He had never been! My love of Clam Chowder comes from my grandpa! When I was little he would make us clam chowder all of the time. Well, he would open a can of Campbells and add milk. ;)

Grandpa clearly loved the goods. He also had some fish and chips. When all was said and done, he said he liked the french fries best. Ha! (They were good!)

 We walked on the pier next and Carson loves the seagulls and the ocean! It was fun! We also looked through some shops, where I found this cute hat. When I tried it on, my grandpa said, "Oh, it's sooo you!" I had to get it. If grandpa approves, who wouldn't?

 My mom got Carson a high chair when we found out I was preggo. Good thing, he is quite the eater and enjoys his time there!

 He has discovered that he has a love of music! He loves to dance and play the piano. My grandma is so pleased with that. She even did an impromptu concert for him while he jammed out!

Carson has also become quite the daredevil. As he is growing and learning, he is getting more adventurous. He happily dove in this bucket to gather some of his toys! It was pretty funny. He was actually yelling right here, but we HAD to pause to capture the moment!

**Wen passed away last night. He was taken off of life support after midnight and passed on shortly after. We are glad to be in California for the summer to support her.

Splish Splash!

We have quite the water baby on our hands! We knew he liked the water from being in the bathtub! He loves to swin in circles and splash A LOT. We always sing "Splish Splash" during bath time! With it being summer and all, We have had a few opportunities to take him swimming! We got a pool to have in the backyard, but we have also taken him to some local pools as well. He loves it!

 

Here he is at the pool in Bear Valley Springs

Nakey swim time in Aunt Pam's back yard. (His favorite)

                    All decked out in the pool in Lompoc!

 He loved Pismo Beach! Next week we will try  swimming in   the ocean for the first time!

Summa Summa Summa tiiiime. Vunerability.

So, I have a really nice tan! I think that is the goal of summer, right? I have also been doing Zumba for about an hour daily. I LOVE IT. We have an xbox 360 and I do it on the kinect. The scale says I have gained 20 lbs in 4 weeks. I have a feeling it is wrong. My mom says, "maybe it is all muscle!" Ha. Like my post said before, I have been given the blessed opportunity to read! Carson takes 3 hour naps (like right now)and I get to read. Be it in the house, at the pool, or in the backyard. It is fantastic. Pure bliss! Here are the books I have read:

*Water for Elephants
*The Help
*Along For The Ride (Sarah Dessen- great author of mindless summer reads)
*The Hunger Games
*Specials
*Extras
*Sizzling Seventeen
*Three Little Words
*The Art Of Racing in the Rain
*Something Borrowed
*Something Blue (LOVED these books)

There were a few more but I can't think right now. I have gotten my sisters and mom to read some of them. I am passing along the love of reading ;)

Summer has been good so far; based on the above. Time with family, relaxing, great weather.

We were slated to visit my aunt in Bear Valley Springs, Ca this weekend. This is where I am blogging from since we have not had internet access. Originally, the plan was to head out here while they went to LA for a few days. My cousin is in to anime and was going to the Anime LA expo. We were going to look after their house and doggies while spending time with my Grandma and her husband Wen, who also live here in the summer. It is such a gorgeous place!

The day before we were supposed to come, we learned that Wen was being taken to a hospital in Bakersfield. He and my grandma had just left Lompoc to come out here, and he began to cough up copious amounts of blood while at Costco. She took him to the doctor, who sent them to urgent care, who sent them to the hospital where he was admitted. While there, he told the doctor that he had fallen in the garage and hit his head in Lompoc. (News to us- we were there- he told my grandma but we didn't hear. He felt just fine, got up, visibly uninjured.) The nurse noticed his eyes weren't quite responding, which I learned is indicative of a brain injury. They sent him in for testing, and would have the results the next day. My grandma checked in to a hotel, and we were all on standby.

The next morning, it was revealed that he had blood on the right side of his brain, which was adding dangerous pressure. Surgery was imminent, and there was a clot as well that needed to be removed. I spoke to my grandma and we came as soon as we could gather what we needed. My aunt Pam cancelled her trip, but sent my uncle and two cousins. We wanted to be here in support of her, she is so important to our family. My mom wanted to come, but needed to work out how with work. For the time being, Devin, Carson and I would take the 3 hour trip and then whoever else could come later on, would.

We got to the hospital as he was finished with surgery. He had done very well. We did not see him, but went to dinner with his son Dale, and his wife Marian. We came home and waited. We new he was in a medically induced coma, and would need to be until more healing took place.

The next morning it was revealed that there would be a conference with the Doctor at 5 p.m with my Grandma and his son, Dale and Marian. We stayed in Bear Valley, took the baby to the pool, and waited for Grandma to call so we could have dinner together. Around 6:30, I had yet to hear from her. I decided to call to see what time she would be here. When she answered the phone she was crying. My grandma doesn't cry. She is the strongest, most steadfast rock of a woman I have ever met. I admire her strength, so I new something was wrong. My aunt stood next to me, alert, waiting to hear what the news was. My grandma uttered, "It's not good, hon. Not good." While choking back tears. She continued to say that they discovered sometime after the surgery he had a massive stroke, causing brain damage, and no chance of recovery. How could this be? I had a million questions. Just yesterday at dinner we discussed after care and rehabilitation and her plans to care for him. He was going to be fine. Now things had really changed. She went on to explain that on top of that, it was discovered that he was in the late stages of lung cancer. Insane! He had a pneumonia earlier in the month, undergone cat scans, chest scans, you name it. It was not detected. The doctor assured them that if he did not suffer the stroke, the lung cancer would have been a very difficult road and would have led to his passing as well.

Currently he is in a coma on life support. Wen's daughter and granddaughters are on the road from Oregon at the moment. My grandma does not have power of attorney, his son does, so we are waiting for the decision as to when he will be removed.

My grandma is SO strong, a woman of Christ. She stayed with us last night and is doing well. Her time with him was less than two years; their one year anniversary was May 31. They were able to celebrate that. They had a summer of fun planned. I know they both made each other extremely happy. He was 83. He was a sweet man who lived a very full life. He climbed Mt. Fuji! He has done it all, I swear. To say that Wen and I have been chummy is an understatement. I met him when I was first pregnant, and even as an adult. A supposedly mature adult, I was very jealous of their relationship. She was MY grandma. I NEEDED her. I WANTED her to be there for ME when I wanted. That is what I was used to. She was like a teenager, so in love right away. They got married when I could not travel. That made me upset. She was not there for Carson's birth. That broke my heart. I blamed Wen. I was selfish. I am selfish. This is all so personal, but it is my life at this moment. What I have learned in the last 48 hours is that life is to be cherished, enjoyed, and be led unselfishly. I love my grandma and want to be here for her however I can. I was able to see Wen last night, where I gave him a first kiss and second hug in the last two years. I told him I was sorry. I wish I had more time with him. More time to act like a grown woman and not a needy child.

My mom and Samantha arrived late last night. They are at the hospital with my Grandma and Pam right now. Devin and I are at the house with Carson. I wish, more than anything, that I knew how to handle stress. That I had a better way. I try, I promise I do. I clean. I write. I watch trash TV. I walk. But I still get a build up of why's and what if's.

I am happy to be here this summer to support my grandma. Her house will be less empty. I know Carson brings her a lot of joy. I am glad she can watch him grow. She loves him.

Please just keep us in your thoughts, whoever reads this. 2 husbands gone in 6 years is not fair.